Goodness. You would think that I would become a more efficient blogger- but I seem to continue making the promises to write and then forgetting all the same.
Fun fact: when i was young, i thought that the silly little commitment people made at the beginning of the year was a "New Years Revolution", as opposed to a "resolution".
I know better, now, as generally individuals aren't grouping together to plan an overthrow of the government every year, but still- sometimes I appreciate my young self for my ignorance.
Think about it. Revolution implies a stronger urge, a phenomenal gain. When you set a resolution, you're simply deciding to do, or not to do something. When you are taking part in revolution, however, you are fighting to the nail for a lifestyle of something better- something that gains that phenomenal.
Resolutions are easy. You say "yes" or you say "no". Sometimes you follow through, more often than not, you wont. You will make it all the way through the year, and just before the end of December, make the same promise to yourself once more. It becomes a cycle- maybe you promise yourself you'll lose 20 pounds every year, and every year--- you dont.
But when i think revolution- i think passion. I think, this is something you have got to do. Maybe for yourself, maybe for someone else.
Revolution is rejecting the bullshit of whatever came before, and working without break for what YOU want to come after. A revolution is not a change in behavior, its a change in self. Its the discipline to become something greater, and the heart to put that goal above all else.
When I think resolution- I think an easy quit.
When I think revolution- I think an earned victory.
So here is my revolution.
Roughly around a year ago, I made a point of laying out exactly what I wanted to achieve over this time span.
It was my 20th birthday, and I sat down and made a list of the things I wanted to do, and who i wanted to become. For me.
My life at this time, mind you, was pretty sheltered.
At the time- my parents were still together.
We had a home in the suburbs of Goodyear.
Money was not of concern.
College was paid for.
By brother was close by.
My family was healthy.
Ready or not, however, things change.
This year, none of those things are true. This year, I am tougher because I was broken. I am impatient because I had been waiting endlessly, I am reckless because I was sheltered, I am present because I have been left. I am unemotional, unattached, nonreactive- because nothing more surprises me. Between me, and my very best friend: we have seen it all this year. From family members in prison, to death, divorce, disappearance.. we have been the kids, the parents, the support systems, the punching bags-
We have been the protectors,
the reactors,
the communicators,
the bullshitters,
the liars,
the truth tellers,
the leaders,
the followers,
We have played role after role- taking up the slack for whoever needed us to be something different then what we are.
All the while I continued trying to achieve what was on a list that I wrote on my 20th birthday.
A year later, despite the chaos of this year- I am happy I did it.
I am happy I was able to invest in who I am, and not be completely taken up in who everyone else needed me to be.
I am happy that I found my own passions, that I achieved my own goals, and that I have developed myself better than I ever could have with an overly sheltered life.
I am happy I have become the adventurer I always bragged about wanting to become. I am happy that my fear is minimal. That i trust myself, my body, my abilities.
This year has been the best of my life.
What about your revolution, TJ?
Thats what I am here to introduce. Becoming myself this last year has helped me create relationships with others in a way I never expected. I have found who I am, and in turn have been more confident in how i spend my time and live my life.
I have bettered my mind, and my heart. I have given myself the freedom I had needed to live fully. This year has been life-changing.
I turn 21 in two weeks, and that is where my new Revolution starts.
This last year my focus was on myself, to better my heart, my time, my confidence-
Next year- I want to better myself in ways that directly help those around me.
I want to be "green". I want to live in a way that is sustainable, keeping our world safe- I want to be more present and understanding for others, I want to be dependable. I want to make a change in how i pour into others lives. I want to invest in things that will in turn change the lives of people who need the change that I needed last year. I want to focus on being every ounce of "good" that I can be.
My revolution?
Im going to change the whole world.
I am going to start now.
Im going to invest in others, and I am going to inspire others.
And in a year- I intend to be writing a similar post- talking about how successful the year had been, and what Revolution I am going to start the next year.
Change happens when change is sought.
A year has passed, and I am ready for the next.
